Working Mom

Working Mom….Ohhh its such a swear word in some circles.

 

I am a working mom. There, I said it. Oh and guess what… Both my girls are in daycare! Bring on the lectures about germs, about how my children are worse off for it. Bring on the ridicule, bring it.

 

Now that was me a few years ago when Alexis was born. I was DEAD set on being a stay at home mom. I took my maternity leave (a whole summer! It was wonderful!). At the end, Gary and I put our heads together and did the finances. Staying home was not an option. There was just not enough money to stretch to cover all the bills. So off I went with major tears to find a part-time job. My church had just opened up a daycare and was in need of an Infant teacher. I very gratefully took the job. How perfect, I would work three days a week and be able to be with Alexis too! For three years now, minus a 6 month period where I worked in the evenings, I have worked at the daycare. I have worked in every room, worked every type of shift. I’ve done it all!

 

Little did I know that working here has made me realize that this is where I am supposed to be. When I was young, my parents taught me that the Lord has a calling on my life. Now I used to think that it had to be a preacher or missionary, something big like that. When I graduated high school, I attended a program to help me reach that preacher or missionary calling. But it wasn’t to be. I quickly realized that my gifts were not in those areas, that in fact, I had no clue what my calling was! The day I stepped into the school age class room at the daycare, I knew. I knew that it was were I was to be. For two years now, I have been working with Kindergarten through Fourth graders. I have fallen in love with the kids in my program. I greet them after school everyday and I love it!

 

My heart is with my daughters. They are constant on my mind. I long for the day that I can stay home with them. That is truly my dream. But until then, I am here pouring the love that I can’t pour on my daughters because I am not with them, on other mothers children. I pray that when they feel my arms around them, they feel their mom’s arms.

I am a rocking Mamma

I LOVE to rock my girls in the rocking chair. We rock when we read books. We rock when its time to sleep. We rock in the morning when its time to get up. Alexis still loves to rock. Its part of her bedtime routine. She picks out a book then Gary or I will read and rock with her while she has a little bit of milk. Its a wonderful time of my night, to relax and let all the stress of the day just go away. I don’t get to rock with Addison as much. The rocker is in Allie’s room so its not always ideal to rock with Addison. Tonight though, Alexis was busy playing in the basement. She set out a huge picnic lunch for her friends from school and she was pretending to be Ms. April. Addison had her evening bottle and I thought I would take advantage of the situation. My little peanut and I headed upstairs and we were able to sit and rock. I started singing my favorite song to sing to my girls, “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy, when skies are gray…” Addison just laid in my arms and listened. When I finished she gave me the sweetest smile. It was a great moment, the kind that melts a mamma’s heart……Then she shot spit up all over the front of my shirt and grinned. I had to laugh. Isn’t it great to have to special sweet moments with your kids and be able to laugh at the inconvenient stuff too?!?!

Johns Hopkins Appointment

Today was the big appointment. At Johns Hopkins. It was a half hour appointment. Ugh. I now have an overtired baby that won’t go to sleep.

 

Anyway…Details. Gary, Addison and I left here about 11:30 for Baltimore. I was extremely nervous the entire drive. Usually when you see the doctor, you have somewhat of an idea of what he or she is going to say. I had no clue. I knew what was wrong with my little girls body but I had no idea what the doctor was going to tell us. My biggest fear was surgery on her little body and the thought of that happening made me want to cry. I had so much encouragement from wonderful friends over the past weekend and their words kept running through my head. One friend had left me with this scripture.

 

Mark 9:20-29
They brought the boy to Him. When he saw Him, immediately the spirit threw him into a convulsion, and falling to the ground, he began rolling around and foaming at the mouth. And He asked his father, "How long has this been happening to him?" And he said, "From childhood. "It has often thrown him both into the fire and into the water to destroy him. But if You can do anything, take pity on us and help us!" And Jesus said to him, " 'If You can?' All things are possible to him who believes." Immediately the boy's father cried out and said, "I do believe; help my unbelief." When Jesus saw that crowd was rapidly gathering, He rebuked the unclean spirit, saying to it, "You deaf and mute spirit, I command you, come out of him and do not enter him again." After crying out and throwing him into terrible convulsions, it came out; and the boy became so much like a corpse that most of them said, "He is dead!" But Jesus took him by the hand and raised him; and he got up. When He came into the house, His disciples began questioning Him privately, "Why could we not drive it out?" And He said to them, "This kind cannot come out by anything but prayer."

 

“Help my unbelief” is what I prayed the entire way to the hospital. We arrived and were greeted with the most efficient check-in process ever. (And I have checked-in at so many places) We were quickly taken back to a room and went over the pregnancy history and Addison’s growth with a resident. Within minutes we were meeting with the head of Pediatric Orthopedics, Dr. Sponseller. He did an exam of Addison, looked at her x-rays and quickly had an answer for us. He basically told us that we had to wait. There is a 70% chance that surgery is the right route. But there is a 30% chance that the rib and vertebra will not effect her at all and she will not have surgery. Around her first birthday she will have another x-ray and see how the rib has grown, if it has grown, and how it is making her spine curve. So its a waiting game we play.

 

In the mean time, we are considering seeing a doctor at Penn State Children’s Hospital in Hershey. Its so much closer especially if we are only going for checkups. My mind can rest easy. I know God is in control! He now has 8 months to do His thing!

X-Ray

This is a picture of the X-Ray of Addison’s Spine and Rib cage when she was first born. The doctors were checking for fluid in her lungs due to my Diabetes and stumbled upon the rib and vertebra. Usually something like this isn’t discovered in a child till they are much older and is already having problems because of it. Many children have other deformities as well. Addison does not. She is perfectly formed. I believe that the Lord knew what He was doing when the X-Ray happened. Lets believe that when she has another X-Ray the rib will be gone!

 

Prayer Please!

Monday, August 16th we are taking Addison to Johns Hopkins to meet with an Pediatric Orthopedic Doctor who hopefully will give us some answers concerning Addison’s back. I am incredibly nervous about the appointment. I am clinging to a bit of faith, believing that the Lord will heal this little girl. Pray with us. Pray the appointment goes well. Pray even harder for complete healing.

Update on Addison

Addison is a wonderful little girl. She has had quite a struggle her first 10 weeks of life. Addison was born via c-section on April 18, 2010 and spent 10 days in the NICU. She was born with very few problems compared with the struggles Alexis went through. She had jaundice, thickened walls in her heart, and extra rib and vertebrae on her right side. Her biggest problem while she was in the NICU was eating and the problem continued till when she was 10ish weeks old. Addison was two weeks early and was considered a preemie. The combination of an early birth and me being a diabetic, it made it difficult for her to learn to suck on a bottle. While in the NICU, feedings would last an hour at a time and usually ended with having to push at least half of the formula down a feeding tube. By day 5, all other issues she had been dealing with were not a problem. By day 7 the feeding tube was out but we were still struggling to get her to eat. Day 10 we were able to bring her home. Up until she was 4 weeks old she was a typical newborn. Fussy at times, sleeping a lot. We still struggled to feed her. She never took more than 1 or 2 oz’s at a time. Around week 5 we switched her from breast milk to formula in anticipating of me going back to work. That was when she started going down hill. She started spitting up A LOT. Projectile vomiting too. The biggest problem was getting her to eat. She would suck on the bottle then cry and suck then cry. When she was finished, she would cry and cry like she was in pain. She was never content. She wouldn’t even let Gary and I sit to feed her. We constantly had to be moving, bouncing, rocking or walking. I am surprised we didn’t wear a hole in our carpets! I finally decided it was time to take her to the doctors. We went and were told that she probably had Acid Reflux. We started with thickening her bottles with cereal, setting her at an incline to eat, sleep and play. None of this helped so back to the doctor I went the following week. The doctor put her on Previcad and finally we had a bit or relief. After two weeks of being on the medicine (which I HATED that she had to take!) she still wasn’t improving much. The crying had stopped and she was eating faster but she still wasn’t eating as much. Off to the doctor I went again and this time the solution was to change her formula. We began giving her Nutramigen. What an improvement!!! The girl started eating! She was happy and smiling! It was such a relief to Gary and I! At her 3 month appointment, we were able to take her off the Acid Reflux medicine as well. I now have the easiest baby and it is wonderful! As of right now, she is laying on the floor in my living room, not propped up at all, playing with her baby gym! Such a difference from a month ago!

 

All through this tough time we also were seeing a pediatric cardiologist and a pediatric surgeon. I will start with the heart doctor first. Addison was born with the wall between the 2 chambers of her heart to thick. When she was born, it was 10 mm thick. The normal is 2mm. We began taking her to a wonderful heart group in Wormleysburg. At 6 weeks the wall had shrunk to 5 mm. We have an appointment in October to check it again and the Dr. is expecting that her heart will be normal.

 

Addison was also born with an extra rib attached to a half formed vertebra in her back. Its called Lateral Hemi-Vertebrae. We headed to the Pediatric Surgeon at about 8 weeks. We were seeing the Dr’s at Penn State Children’s Hospital. While there she had a complete exam to make sure everything in her little body was forming, growing and placed where it was supposed too. The Doctor even checked to make sure that her little bum hole was in the right place! Everything looked great the Dr. referred us back to our Pediatrician. From there we were sent to an Orthopedic Doctor in the area last week. That Dr had no answers. He actually hasn’t seen this in a child since he was doing his residency. He told us that we needed to see a Pediatric Orthopedic doctor that specializes in spines. Its not something that is very common but he did know a Doctor at John Hopkins in Baltimore Maryland. So we are headed to see the head honcho of Pediatric Orthopedics on August 16th. I am excited to go and finally get some answers about Addison’s development, how it is effecting her and most important, will she have to have surgery.

 

Gary and I are praying for a creative miracle in Addison’s little body! We are putting our faith in that when she has x-rays again, the rib a vertebrae will be gone! Pray with us as we head on this new experience!